Monday, October 15, 2012

Shredded

My heart is. Two things simultaneously happened Saturday that will forever be etched in my mind and make that the worst day, up to this point, in my life.

Our beloved Tucker died. Suddenly. Instantly. One second he was barking and happy, the next, gone. One of my best friends went to our house to feed him for us while we were away at a football game and he was barking and happy to see her and then he was just gone. My heart breaks for my friend to have to go through that but by her doing that it shielded us from it. She is the greatest animal and bug lover I know so to know that she was with Tucker when he passed is a great comfort. It is a blessing to know it was instant and he didn't suffer. He was the perfect dog. I am saying that with conviction. Even the things he did that maybe weren't always right, were just him being like a puppy. We always said that about him. He was the most loving, gentle, happy companion that anyone could ask for. There will never be another Tucker, ever. He was perfect. It's too quiet in the house without him there. Without his hound bark. Without him excited to see us when we get home.

On the same day we watched our boy have the worst day a kicker could ever imagine. Missed field goals one after the other. One to win the game. It was unimaginable. I could care less about the game, my heart broke for my boy. He has worked so hard for so many years and it just fell apart in that game. I wanted to run out and hug him. I told him one game and one day does not define him. He is really amazing and inspires me in so many ways. He bravely talked to the media and owned that he didn't do his job but was determined to make it right and get better. What was very touching was the amount of people that came up to us that know Chad and how much they care about him and their kind words were just what we needed. He has the support of the team and his coaches which isn't always the case.

I acknowledge that there are far worse things in this world and that my problems seem so puny next to them but right now, this is my world and I am shattered. I am blessed that this is the worst that has ever happened to me. I am blessed in so many ways. It will get better every day.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Kim, I'm so sorry sweet Tucker went to doggy heaven. Our doggy was promoted to heaven nearly two years ago and we still miss her. Can't believe how much losing a pet hurts. Sorry too about Chad's bad day. We all have them but when it's your child who has a bad day in front of everyone, it breaks a mom's heart. love & prayers, Rachel

pammycakes said...

you know how we feel about tucker and how we adore chad...we are so sorry about the crappy weekend...keep reminding yourself that there are those out there praying for you and thinking of you each day...love you much...

Anna said...

257Thinking of you, friend. No words are good enough right now.